Panic Attack Central

26Jan07

This past month I’ve been having panic attacks like it’s going out of style. It’s been five years since I last had them, and suddenly I’ve had like six this month alone.
My doctor is tweaking my meds, which is doubtless part of the problem. Things that have panicked me so far this month include sudden [...]

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Paralysis

22Jan07

So it’s Monday and life doesn’t suck yet, but I have two things on my to-do list that I know is going to MAKE life suck, so I’m sitting here dawdling (and blogging) and not billing hours because I just can’t bear to dig into this and trigger a depressive episode.
On the plus side, my [...]

Filed under: billable hours, depression, symptoms   |  1 Comment

Bad Day

18Jan07

This actually turned out to be a rotten depression day. I had to take some time alone in my office at noon to just cry — which, of course, professional women can’t do — and my afternoon has just been one long slog of trying not to give in to crying again.

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Billing by the Hour

18Jan07

I HATE the billable hour.
The problems with the billable hour are manifold:
1) It rewards slow work and penalizes the efficient. If I can write a contract in two hours, and the guy across the hall takes four hours, HE gets a bonus at the end of the year. I get reprimanded for not billing enough [...]

Filed under: billable hours, hours, office, workplace   |  4 Comments

If Only It Was All a Bad Dream

16Jan07

Last night I had what I think was my first law nightmare. I was trying to practice law in Britain and I wasn’t licensed as a barrister or solicitor — I can never remember which is which — and for some reason my cat was at the courthouse and my apple tree was growing pumpkin-sized [...]

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Pro Bono

15Jan07

I think the local pro bono coordinator is out to get me. We have a central clearinghouse for cases that LSC can’t take that get farmed out to lawyers willing to do pro-bono. The coordinator is a really nice woman, but I swear to God, I keep getting the most obnoxious cases. The ones that [...]

Filed under: attorney, billable hours, court, hours, hypocrisy, law, lawyer, lsc, pro bono   |  Leave a Comment

Sure, It Has a Window

12Jan07

One of the things I hate most about the “workplace” aspects of my job (the parts that aren’t confined to being a lawyer, but just the part where you have to go work somewhere) is sitting in my little white-walled box with a window.
So cubicles are worse. I worked in cubicles and hated it — [...]

Filed under: attorney, law, lawyer, office, professionals, workplace   |  1 Comment

Back to Court, with Pain

09Jan07

I had court today, so of course I came down with a horrific cold over the weekend and went into court with a bright red nose, an aching ear, and a neck so stiff I couldn’t turn it. Driving to the courthouse was entertaining without being able to look side to side. I had to [...]

Filed under: court, sick, symptoms   |  1 Comment

I’m a Lawyer. I’m Depressed.

04Jan07

That’s really all you need to know here. I’m not talking bummed about life, I’m talking big honkin’ major clinical depression requiring daily medication to keep me a functional member of the human race.
This is not actually the law’s fault. They say that 1/3 of lawyers are depressed or having problems with addiction, mostly because [...]

Filed under: depression, introduction, lawyer, symptoms   |  4 Comments